My Other Love Letter ©

A relationship is placing one’s heart and soul in the hands of another while taking charge of another in one’s soul and heart 

Kahlil Gibran

"I love you.

I love you for all you are to me. I love you because of who you are, and what you represent. I know that people use the word love so loosely these days. Sometimes with little to no meaning behind it …… just Lip Service. However, I assure you that when I say I love you, I mean it. I never thought that I would ever find this kind of love. I didn’t think that this kind of love even existed. The very thought of you makes me smile. The sound of your voice makes my heart skip a beat. When I see you it’s like the first time every time. I love the way you treat me…. like royalty. I know that there have been those that have come along and told you that they love you but treated you so horribly. I believe that it is because they didn’t have a clue as to what exactly they had in you. They did not know your value. They were so concerned with what they wanted from you that they did not even take the time to find out what you wanted... what you needed. They took you for granted. They misused and abused you. However, if they only took the time to figure out what I now know.. they would have given their life for you. They would have cherished your love and done anything for you. For your love is…

Euphoric

Mesmerizing

Dependable
Consistent
Refreshing
Unconditional

Inspirational

Irreplaceable

….and I promise that as long as there is breath in my body, your love and loyalty for me will NEVER return unto you void."

These are the words I reserve for the woman God blesses me to grow old with. The Love of my life. Unfortunately, she hasn’t shown up yet. However, when she does…. Ohhh when she does …. what a absolutely glorious day that will be.

Nevertheless, until then I am busy laying the groundwork of our life together. Busy preparing to be the provider and head of household God created me to be. See,  in order to be great at something … you have to practice and prepare. Yes … there are those that are naturally gifted and blessed by God with loads of talent and abilities, but there is always room for improvement. Always. Therefore, until my “Good Thing” comes along I have some work to do. I am also most definitely aware that the work doesn’t stop when she shows up. That’s only the beginning. There will be a lot to learn. There are some couples that have spent most of their adult lives together and are still learning something new about their significant other every single day (That is if they are fully invested in the happiness of their mate). To me, that is the joy of a relationship. Learning new ways to make the one you are with feel happy, safe, secure … fulfilled. This should be one’s objective in a marriage. A relationship of any kind should never be self-serving. Of course you have your requirements within the relationship, but they should never trump the happiness, emotional or physical well being of your mate. Trust me … I know. I have been on the receiving end of a self-serving mate’s selfishness a number of times.

“When someone entrusts their heart to you, they are giving you a piece of their soul. You cannot treat a soul casually. You must protect, nurture and handle it with care”- Iyanla Vanzant

Now! Those that know me know that I am a “communicator”. I give people “the Real”. Real talk… Straight, no chaser. Sometimes people misinterpret my realness as a lack of compassion or sympathy. This could not be further from the truth. I do care. I care enough about the person to tell them what others won’t or are afraid to. Does that make me the bad guy at times? Sure, it does.  However, I tell people the truth because I love them.

I said all of that to say that when you truly love someone you have to effectively communicate with them (Even if that means that what you have to tell them will hurt their feelings or bruise their ego). Now I will say this…. Sometimes silence is golden. You know your mate (Or at least you should). Act accordingly.

As for me, I believe the lifeblood of any relationship is communication. If you are not a communicator, I am not interested. Don’t waste your time or mine. Time is a precious commodity and once it’s gone you can’t get it back. I make it goal to never waste time on things that are not positive or aren’t geared towards the edification or enlightenment of everyone involved. I believe that this is the mindset one has to have entering into a marriage or a intimate relationship of any kind. Love - unfortunately - is just not enough. Both parties have to have a mutual desire to uplift the other, support the other, respect one another and defend one another… even when they don’t completely understand what’s going on or the odds are seemingly stacked against them. Loyalty, devotion, compromise, and sacrifice are words that are seemingly lost on today’s couples. Of the marriages and intimate relationships I see on a daily basis, I only know of one that seems to incorporate these words (coupled with a strong devotion to the Most High) to make their marriage “work”. One. Uno. Une. Youn nan …. That would be pretty disheartening were it not for the fact that I know that when we do things according to the way Almighty God intends for us to, HE has an uncanny way of working things out for the good of all involved. Therefore, the woman that hears the words leading into this entry will be and truly must be “Heaven Sent”.

Now there have been times where I thought I had finally found “the one”. Unfortunately, that is the very reason why the relationships were not successful and for the most part very short lived. Primarily because “I” thought I had found the one. The word of God urges us to not lean to our own understanding. HIS ways are not our ways. It was only when I learned to get out of the way of my own way of happiness and let God send me who and what I need in a mate was when I eventually able to understand and truly appreciate being single. It is NOW my belief that you have to truly enjoy being alone before you could ever appreciate being married. Solitude breeds self-discovery. It is when we are alone … away from the world and all of its labels and classifications is when we are truly free to be honest and open with ourselves. Solitude sometimes is a very necessary circumstance. It allows us to truly learn who we are or for the fact of the matter who we aren’t. It is extremely important that one knows who and Whose they are before entering a relationship to avoid getting lost in their mates expectations for them. For if you don’t have an identity going into the relationship, your mate will most definitely provide one for you (One that you might not necessarily care for).

In closing, I just wanted to give you a little history on the reasoning behind the title as well as the entry itself. It’s as simple as this…. I entitled this entry “My Other Love Letter” because should the day come when I am able to pen the aforementioned letter to the woman that I decide to spend the rest of my life with, it will be the second letter I have written to one that I absolutely cherish and adore. You should have read the first one …. 

The one I wrote to God.